Identity
The underutilisation of therapy by Black and Nigerian women is not a mystery. It is the predictable result of specific, identifiable barriers — cultural, practical, historical, and representational — that make the decision to seek therapy more difficult than it needs to be.
Naming those barriers is not the same as accepting them. Understanding them is the beginning of navigating past them.
The cultural narrative of strength. In many Nigerian and broader African cultural contexts, seeking help for psychological difficulty is associated with weakness — with an inability to manage, to endure, to keep moving. The specifically Nigerian cultural valorisation of resilience — expressed through the endurance of hardship, the maintenance of composure, the forward momentum of striving — can produce a deep resistance to the acknowledgment of psychological need.
The "pray through it" alternative. For many Nigerian women, faith is not merely a comfort but an active resource and a specific set of instructions: take everything to God, pray until it resolves, trust the process. This is not wrong. It is also, for many forms of psychological difficulty, insufficient on its own — not because faith is limited but because some forms of healing require the specific, ongoing, professionally skilled presence of a human witness.
The lack of representation. Most models of therapy were developed in and for white, Western, middle-class contexts. The implicit assumptions about family structure, cultural norms, and what constitutes health and dysfunction do not always translate. And the visible workforce of therapists is overwhelmingly white in most Western contexts — which can make the prospect of being genuinely understood feel unlikely.
The practical barriers. Cost, access, time, childcare, cultural language barriers — these are real. They do not make therapy impossible, but they do make it harder.
Despite these barriers, the evidence for therapy's effectiveness across a range of psychological difficulties — depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship problems, identity difficulties, grief — is among the most consistent in all of medicine.
Not any therapy with any therapist. The right therapy with the right therapist.
For Nigerian and Black women specifically: the experience of being genuinely witnessed — of having your specific cultural context understood, of having the complexity of your relational and family life seen rather than assessed against norms that do not apply — is not available from most support structures in your life. Therapy can provide it.
If this is bringing up more than you expected, 1:1 coaching can help you work through it with clarity and support. Explore Coaching →
Ask specifically about cultural competence. In an initial consultation, ask: "How do you work with Nigerian/African/Black women clients?" A therapist who is genuinely culturally competent will have a thoughtful, specific answer.
Seek a therapist of colour where possible and accessible. Not because only therapists of colour can help you — they cannot be the only pathway — but because the shared cultural context can reduce the explaining burden and increase the sense of being genuinely understood.
Use the initial sessions as a mutual interview. The therapeutic relationship is the primary vehicle of healing. If the relationship does not feel right — if you do not feel seen, if the therapist's framework does not fit your life, if the cultural assumptions are consistently off — it is appropriate and necessary to say so and, if not resolvable, to seek a different therapist.
Therapist matching services. Platforms specifically designed to match Black and women-of-colour clients with therapists of shared cultural background are increasingly available. These include, depending on your location, various specialist directories and matching services.
If this is opening something up, 1:1 coaching provides the space and support to go deeper. Explore Coaching →
The Good Girl Delusion explores the roots of these patterns in depth and offers a genuine path through. Read The Good Girl Delusion →
Related: Emotional Maturity Guide · Healing From Childhood Trauma · Generational Trauma: Understanding and Healing
Nancy GLO
Reflective storyteller & style curator for women becoming
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