Identity
Perfectionism is widely misunderstood as high standards. It is not. High standards and perfectionism are distinct orientations, and understanding the distinction is what makes the shift possible.
High standards set ambitious, clear criteria for the quality of work and persist through imperfection in pursuit of them. They are forward-facing and growth-oriented.
Perfectionism organises effort around the avoidance of criticism and judgment rather than the pursuit of genuine quality. It is fear-based, not standards-based — and it reliably produces worse outcomes than healthy high standards.
Procrastination. The perfectionist does not begin until conditions are ideal. Conditions are never ideal. Work is therefore delayed indefinitely.
Inability to ship. The project is perpetually not quite finished — not quite ready to be seen. The standard is always slightly beyond where the work currently is.
Risk avoidance. The perfectionist does not attempt the things at which she might fail. The risk of imperfect execution is too high. She therefore limits herself to domains in which she is already competent.
Reduced learning. Learning requires attempting things you cannot yet do well. The perfectionist's avoidance of imperfection eliminates the experiences through which growth happens.
Exhaustion. The maintenance of a perfectionist standard across all domains simultaneously is simply not sustainable. The people who appear to have it all together are often the most depleted people in the room.
The progress orientation asks: what is the next step that moves this in the direction it needs to go? Not: how do I make this perfect? But: how do I make this better than it was?
Done is better than perfect. The work that is released and receives feedback is more productive than the work that is perpetually refined without being seen.
The imperfect attempt produces information. Making the imperfect thing — and living with its imperfection — provides the information that the ideal attempt never will, because the ideal attempt never arrives.
Iteration is the mechanism of quality. Most excellent work is the product of many imperfect iterations, not a single perfect execution. Building a practice of making and improving, rather than preparing for perfection, is what produces quality across time.
Notice the perfectionist pattern when it arises. The delay, the over-preparation, the refusal to submit until it is perfect. Name it: this is perfectionism.
Set a minimum viable standard. What would constitute "good enough to submit, share, or do" for this specific thing? Not your ideal standard — the standard at which doing is better than not doing.
Practise imperfect action. Deliberately do things imperfectly and survive the consequences. Build the evidence that imperfection is not catastrophic.
Related: Why Do I Self-Sabotage? · How to Stop Waiting for Permission · Building Real Confidence as a Woman
Nancy GLO
Reflective storyteller & style curator for women becoming
Continue Reading
Identity
Choosing yourself is not selfishness. It is the understanding that you cannot fully give what you have not first preserved — and that the woman who consistently abandons herself does not, in fact, become more available to others.
ReadIdentity
There is a version of you further along in her development — more self-knowing, more grounded, clearer about what she will and will not accept. She has something to say to you. Here is what she would tell you.
Read